Monday, March 30, 2015

We Came, We Ran, We Were Pretty Sure We Were Dying...

The way every race for me starts and ends, with a trip to the Porta Potty.

This Saturday I ran the "Flattop" 5K Roadrace in Lamoine. I will be 100 percent honest and say that I did not want to do this. Well, I did want to at first, but then I got the Stomach Virus From Hell, and I felt as if I were dying for the days that followed all the glitz and glamor that go into having a stomach virus. Seriously, if the people in this house could stay healthy for more than 2 days at a time, it would be fantastic. I am starting to think we have a slow gas leak somewhere. So, long story short, I wasn't feeling my best by the time race day came but I had posted on here that I was going to run, and I am nothing if not a woman of my word. Also, I told my friend, Dotty I would run. Dotty is a cop, and though she is smaller than me, I find her intimidating in the nicest of ways, and I didn't want her to see that I didn't do it. My last reason for going was that my best friend and I had made a pact that if one of us didn't feel up to it, the other wouldn't go either. It's the best kind of buddy system really. Neither of us were feeling up to it, but neither of us were willing to call "uncle" first, so we both went. Thanks for that, Mand!

This is us starting out. Don't we look warm? photo credit: Richard Small

When I ran my last 5K of 2014, it was in December and I really thought that by the time I ran my first 5K of 2015, it would be spring, and it would be much warmer. Ha! Not so much. Why? Because, Maine. That's why. It was a balmy 30 degrees and boy oh boy was there a biting wind that day! I actually had an older gentleman run past me (as everyone does, because I am s-l-o-w) that had a 4 inch spitcicle attached to his chin. I don't know if he knew it was there, and I didn't really feel like pointing it out to him. I'm just sorry there is no photo to show you, because it was disgusting and impressive all at the same time. But I digress...

The whole point of this post is that I did it. I ran. I was not great. It would be arguable to even say I was good. I know that about halfway into the race, my body started screaming profanities at me in German (Side Note: My grandfather rarely got drunk, but when he did, he would call his friends and swear at them in German, the only actual German that he had picked up while fighting in the war, was apparently obscenities. You're welcome for that tidbit.) and it took all of my effort to just get across the finish line. It is no exaggeration to say that I had an old lady pass me. Like, Sophia from the Golden Girls, old. I mean good for her and all, but damn it!

She was pretty kick ass.  

I seriously considered not posting my time on here because of how terrible it was, but really what is the point of this blog to begin with? I'm never going to be a great runner, and might not even be a good one, but I did it. If I did it, while recovering from the flu, on a blustery March morning in Maine, than you can to. Who cares if it takes you 47.11 minutes (yup, THAT slow) to run a 5K? Just do it! If nothing else, you might get some bling to show off to your friends.

No, I am not having a seizure, but thanks for asking!

 The day after the race I was dead. Totally dead. My body refused to do anything, including eat because I had pushed it way too soon after being ill. Overall though, I think it was worth it and I am glad that I have plenty of chances to redeem myself.

Here is a link to some upcoming 5Ks in Maine. The first few have already happened, but there are many more on there. This is by all means not an exhaustive list of all that is out available, so use our friend Google, and find a race near you to try. You might find that you get oddly addicted to it as I have, in this strange love/hate relationship I have with running.


  1. Thank you for never ceasing to entertain me with your well-written, humorous, and inspirational blogs.
    Here's another race for you, this one is in Washington Ct.:

    I'm thinking of doing it. I've never run a race in my life by the way, unless you count the 1-mile races I've run with my kid when he was 4/5 years old. Be proud of your 47.11!

    1. You should absolutely do it! I hate every second of the actually running, but there sure is something about crossing that finish line! There is a fun glow run happening in Bangor in June. I think it will be fun to run at night!